The Hurting

Lightning Round, Part 2

1. So, after an eventful first issue, I see that Secret Invasion is settling into the usual Bendis rhythms of, er, nothing happening. With that said, I will say that if the character they're supposedly telling us didn't die way back when actually didn't die, and will prove to be the real deal (I suppose one of those Skrull phonies should probably have to be genuine), that would be cool. I always thought it was a mistake that they killed her in the first place. That said: how did the Skrulls trick Mephisto? (I'm being cagey so as not to totally spoil the "reveal", but if you know the character in question that makes sense.)

2. We live in an age of miracles and wonders, where almost every series from Marvel's Silver Age is available in reprint in some format, whether it's an expensive hardcover Masterwork edition or a cheaper Essential - even the Kree Captain Marvel, and I think at this point most people probably figured Marvel had forgotten they owned the character. Hell, even Sgt. Fury and the Rawhide Kid have Masterworks (although I think most people would much prefer the former in an Essential). Even those weird Spider-Man black & white magazines, for the love of God. However, there is one glaring omission, a series that featured the work of some of Marvel's best cartoonists and creators - people like Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, Gene Colan, Bill Everett, John and Marie Severin, and Roy Thomas - doing memorable work in an unusual format: Not Brand Ecch. So far as I know there's never been so much as a whisper about reprinting this series in any format, and that's a shame, because this one I'd actually buy.

3. Why don't more Emo kids like the Notorious B.I.G.? His first album is more Emo than a crying kitten at a Get-Up Kids concert.
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Lightning Round

1. What if it's not Barry Allen? Remember back during "Hush" when it looked like they had brought back Jason Todd but it was only a fake-out? People got really excited and then they thought it was a cheap gimmick - but DC saw it was a popular idea, so they brought the character back for real. (Notably, however, the second resurrection was much less effective and popular than the reaction to the first fake-out.) I can think of half-a-dozen ways that the person seen briefly at the end of DC Universe is not the person we think it is - and I'm not even that plugged-in to minutiae anymore.

2. Do Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo have distinctive personalities? I've been watching a lot of old MST3K's recently with my significant other and it strikes me that the robots don't really seem to have the well-defined personalities I thought they did. Perhaps I'm missing it - please explain your answers.

3. Portishead's Three - awesome or amazing? The Roots' Rising Down - disappointing?
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Selected Panels From The Greatest Comic Book Ever Printed,
Marvel Two-In-One Annual #7, 1982
by Tom DeFalco and Ron Wilson

















To Be Continued . . .
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The Stupidest Thing I've Seen In A While

I know it's hardly news that Hal Jordan isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. Hell, making fun of Hal for getting bonked on the head is practically a cottage industry in and of itself. And with good reason! Super-hero comics are supposed to be wish-fulfillment on at least some level, right? What can be more frustrating than seeing a character with what is quite literally the most wonderful means of magical wish-fulfillment in all of comics getting knocked out by lamps? I mean, seriously, people. It's enough to make you think that the Guardians are purposefully looking for morons.

But this... this takes the cake. Posting stupid Green Lantern panels is, I know, the most obvious tool in the comic bloggers' repertoire. But still. I think this speaks for itself:



Just a couple issues later Hal saves an exploding planet by inserting giant carbon rods into the core to dampen a nuclear reaction. Uh-huh. From the looks of things they probably had to child-proof the Jordan household to ensure he didn't drink Drain-O with his lunch.

(Admittedly, I am not that big on obscure Green Lantern villains - is the Shark's "invisible yellow aura" a holdover from the Silver Age?)
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Top Ten Reasons Why I Love The Rhino Reissue Of
The Replacements' Let It Be



10. You can actually hear the snapping fingers on "We're Coming Out", and not simply vague percussive slaps that could be either cowbells or postalveolar clicks in Zulu.

9. Hey, wait a minute, you mean the Replacements actually have a rhythm section, not just a dull drone in the back of the tinny mix? Wow, Tommy Stinson's actually good.

8. "Androgynous" was supposed to sound like a cavernous nightclub? I could never tell because the previous CD sounded like it was mixed in an airport hanger.

7. There's absolutely nothing ironic in their cover of KISS' "Black Diamond", and it points to the fact that the 'Mats could very well have been arena rock legends if they had chosen to do so. But then again, they had Bob Stinson playing lead guitar like a crush fetishist loose in a pet store, so that's debatable.

6. Is Let It Be the last great 12" release? Look at the side "A" and side "B". I'm hardly a vinyl fetishist - I don't even own a turntable anymore - but even I think it's something of a shame that you don't have to turn the record (or cassette tape!) over between "Black Diamond" and "Unsatisfied".

5. "Seen Your Video" - best music industry kiss-off ever? And right before they signed on the dotted line with Warner Brothers, no less.

4. Every genius album has a real head-scratcher on it that you don't really like but you learn to love anyway - Life's Rich Pageant has "Underneath the Bunker", The Queen Is Dead has "Vicar in a Tutu", and Let It Be has "Gary's Got A Boner". I guess the fact that these bands were still willing to put a song on their album just because it was fuckin' stupid and they got a kick out of playing it says something, because once groups get big heads they lose their sense of humor entirely. The 'Mats never got big, so their sense of humor stayed sharp through until the end.

3. Exile on Main Street my ass - Liz Phair owes Paul Westerberg royalties for the way that half the songs on Exile on Guyville are just "Answering Machine" with different words and worse guitar playing.

2. I've always said that Tim was my favorite 'Mats album - I know, I know - but listening to this new disc raises the distinct possibility that I undervalued Let It Be simply because every CD copy I've ever had of the album has sounded like shit. They say remastered editions of the WB era albums are coming soon - so we shall soon be able to judge for ourselves.

1. Bonus tracks, you say? You've been caught in that boondoggle before? Well, I can live without the "20th Century Boy" cover - just can't warm to Marc Bolan - but there's no good reason why "Perfectly Lethal" couldn't have made the album itself, and their cover of The Grass Roots' "Temptation Eyes", while definitely a little ragged, has the same swagger as their cover of "Black Diamond". (I can see, with that in mind, why it didn't make the album itself.) But Westerberg's solo home demo of "Answering Machine" - that's the real gold. If they had put the demo version on the album, they could have kick-started lo-fi half a decade early, and essentially mooted the entire Sebadoh discography.

Judge for yourself.


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Behold, The Uber-Lolz


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